. I loved that they had a string quartet playing music before the ceremony. It was so classy and elegant. I really really want a string or brass group for our wedding, but I have a feeling that won't happen.
2. I loved that she had a bouquet toss without having a garter toss. I love the idea of tossing a bouquet, but the garter toss just doesn't seem to be my style. My mom told me you can't do one without the other, but obviously, you can.
3. But she tossed her full bouquet, I'd rather toss a small bouquet that was made for the sole purpose of tossing. I would either keep my bouquet or give it to my mom.That's all for now!
[Edit: No, she didn't. The bouquet she tossed was silk - genius! The girl who caught it can keep it forever, yay!)
Monday, July 28, 2008
Notes on Alison's Wedding
(You can go back to my main entry about the wedding for more!)
Alison's wedding was a great chance to see a beautiful wedding well before James and I walk down the aisle and make mental notes about what I liked and didn't like and to get ideas for our wedding. So here goes:
Liked!
1. I loved that the wedding all took place in one spot - we stayed in the hotel where the wedding and reception took place, which made it very easy. It makes me happy that our wedding and reception will be in one location as well - although there's no hotel nearby (the closest is maybe 15 minutes away).
2. The welcome bags that Alison gave us were such a sweet idea. We could definitely do that, too. I'm hoping that the people who come from far away take the opportunity to make a vacation of it and go visit Philadelphia. We could include maps of Philly and tourist information, as well as TastyKakes to give them a bit of local flavor (Alison's bags included Moon Pies.) The only question is, who did Alison give the bags to? Everyone? Her friends? The younger crowd? Must find this out.
3. The bridesmaids' dresses were lovely, a periwinkle blue and I think they were some kind of silk. They were tea-length, A-line, quite stylish, and could easily be worn again. Makes me wonder: am I making the right decision to choose long gowns?
4. Alison's dress was gorgeous. I love love loved it.
5. The mimosa fountain was fun. I think it's a great idea to have something quirky and fun like that, because people will get a kick out of it. I think we'll be doing a chocolate fountain, which I'm psyched about.
6. I loved the after party at her parents' house. They had pizza and drinks and more wedding cake (OMG the strawberry cake was amaaaaazing!) and the best part was all the extra time everyone had to visit with each other. I wish we could do this, but the wedding will probably end at 11 and I'm not sure we'd want to go to a bar or something afterwards. A brunch the next morning might be nice, before we left for our honeymoon. I'll have to see what my parents think....
7. The wedding cake was extremely yummy, and they had a groom's cake as well. Yum yum yum. I definitely want to do the groom's cake, too. I loved that the cake didn't have figures on top and was instead decorated with the flowers of the day - hydreangeas.
8. I also loved the hydrangeas. All the bouquets were entirely hydrangeas - the bridesmaids had white/pink hydrangeas and the bride had blue. The cake was topped with blue hydrangeas, and the centerpieces were all blue hydrangeas. I love hydrangeas and the three flowers I've been wanting to use all along are peonies, roses, and hydrangeas. It was great to see how classy and romantic the flowers look in a wedding.
9. I loved that they played music from Music and Lyrics at the reception. We'll definitely have to do that.
10. I loved the readings in the wedding - there was one by Auden, I forget what it was called exactly, something like "O Tell Me the Meaning of Love" or something like that. It was read by Saul's mom (an intruiging idea, having a mom do a reading. Must consider this.), and her chirruping British accent was too cute and a perfect fit for the lightly humorous poem. The other was Shakespeare's 116th sonnet. "Love does not alter when it alteration finds." That one. It reminds me of Sense and Sensibility and it's just beautiful. I doubt that we would use it (I feel strange about copying readings or first dance songs from friends' weddings) but I did like it.
11. I liked that their favor was loose tea leaves, since they met in a tea house (or had their first date there, I'm not sure) and they got engaged in that same tea house. We're thinking of having fortune cookies since we met by going out to Chinese food with my brother, and we wanted to incorporate hummingbirds into the wedding stationary since there were hummingbirds flying around when James proposed. We'll see if that all works out! My parents are making South Jersey peach jam for favors (an idea I love because we'll be giving everyone a taste of New Jersey), and making the fortune cookies would be an added stress to that final week before the wedding... we'll see.
12. I loved that they had one of those wedding picture frames where all the guests sign the matte. I think we should do that.
Didn't like (that is to say, wouldn't do in my wedding)
1. I wouldn't have a civil ceremony. Alison's wedding made that clear. Theirs was still a lovely ceremony and it was perfect for them, but it's not what I want. I like the idea of a traditional Christian ceremony simply because it is traditional. I'd like a reading from the Bible (something easy like "love is gentle, love is kind") and a hymn or two (one hymn I want is the one from Little Women - the scene were Meg gets married). And I'd like the officiant to say a few words, not just the official business stuff but also advice and lessons and all of that. I'm not sure a civil officiant can do that - he didn't at Alison's wedding, anyway. I wouldn't want the religion to be the focus of the ceremony, but I think it provides a nice backdrop. Plus, and this is something Alison and Saul didn't have to deal with (lucky them!), I've got the religous parents to appease.
2. I wouldn't have flower girls and a ring bearer. (Alison had two flower girls and one ring bearer.) They were very cute, but it's just not for me. Plus, I don't think we know of any kids that could do the job anyway. Although the kids' table at the reception with boxes of Crayons and fun activities was pretty adorable. And there are lots of super sweet bride-and-flower-girls moments...
3. I loved that they named their tables after places like Santa Monica (our table) or the Tea Room (the sweetheart table). That's what James and I are planning on doing. However, they didn't include an explanation of why the tables are named what they are, and I would. On the sign at the center of each table, we'll include a little tidbit about why that location is important to us.
4. I wouldn't do a sweetheart table (that's where the bride and groom have a separate small table at the reception). I want to have a table for the whole wedding party. This is just how I've always imagined it. The sweetheart table is a new trend, I think, and it's a nice idea, but the wedding party table just appeals to me more.
5. I'm glad we chose to move the wedding to the evening. One of the big things I want in my reception is lots of dancing. There was very little at Alison's wedding, and that might have to do with the brunch nature of the event (people aren't as inclined to dance in the afternoon?), and it might have to do with the small dance floor or the fact that the music wasn't quite loud enough. They didn't have a DJ, and I think a DJ might have helped with the "it's time to dance!" feel. Anyway, maybe dancing wasn't all that important to them, but for some reason it is to me. But having an afternoon wedding has its advantages: you don't have to be nervous all day long, as I'm sure I will be, and you have all that time in the evening for an after party. Still, I think an evening wedding was the right choice for me, and anyway there's no changing it now!!
6. I liked that they had a first dance (Elvis, "I can't help falling in love," a song that I definitely want to include in the evening's dancing but won't feature it as our first dance). I also want to have a father-daughter dance and a mother-son dance for James and his mom. I've already chosen the song to dance with my dad - "I loved her first" by Heartland. It's country, and I don't do country, so it's a bit surprising, but the song just made me cry when I first heard it and imagined dancing to it with my dad . Look it up on Youtube. I think the father-daughter dance is one of the main reasons I want there to be dancing in the first place.That's about all I have.
Hmm... I wonder if I can sneak into a few local weddings to get more ideas??
Alison's wedding was a great chance to see a beautiful wedding well before James and I walk down the aisle and make mental notes about what I liked and didn't like and to get ideas for our wedding. So here goes:
Liked!
1. I loved that the wedding all took place in one spot - we stayed in the hotel where the wedding and reception took place, which made it very easy. It makes me happy that our wedding and reception will be in one location as well - although there's no hotel nearby (the closest is maybe 15 minutes away).
2. The welcome bags that Alison gave us were such a sweet idea. We could definitely do that, too. I'm hoping that the people who come from far away take the opportunity to make a vacation of it and go visit Philadelphia. We could include maps of Philly and tourist information, as well as TastyKakes to give them a bit of local flavor (Alison's bags included Moon Pies.) The only question is, who did Alison give the bags to? Everyone? Her friends? The younger crowd? Must find this out.
3. The bridesmaids' dresses were lovely, a periwinkle blue and I think they were some kind of silk. They were tea-length, A-line, quite stylish, and could easily be worn again. Makes me wonder: am I making the right decision to choose long gowns?
4. Alison's dress was gorgeous. I love love loved it.
5. The mimosa fountain was fun. I think it's a great idea to have something quirky and fun like that, because people will get a kick out of it. I think we'll be doing a chocolate fountain, which I'm psyched about.
6. I loved the after party at her parents' house. They had pizza and drinks and more wedding cake (OMG the strawberry cake was amaaaaazing!) and the best part was all the extra time everyone had to visit with each other. I wish we could do this, but the wedding will probably end at 11 and I'm not sure we'd want to go to a bar or something afterwards. A brunch the next morning might be nice, before we left for our honeymoon. I'll have to see what my parents think....
7. The wedding cake was extremely yummy, and they had a groom's cake as well. Yum yum yum. I definitely want to do the groom's cake, too. I loved that the cake didn't have figures on top and was instead decorated with the flowers of the day - hydreangeas.
8. I also loved the hydrangeas. All the bouquets were entirely hydrangeas - the bridesmaids had white/pink hydrangeas and the bride had blue. The cake was topped with blue hydrangeas, and the centerpieces were all blue hydrangeas. I love hydrangeas and the three flowers I've been wanting to use all along are peonies, roses, and hydrangeas. It was great to see how classy and romantic the flowers look in a wedding.
9. I loved that they played music from Music and Lyrics at the reception. We'll definitely have to do that.
10. I loved the readings in the wedding - there was one by Auden, I forget what it was called exactly, something like "O Tell Me the Meaning of Love" or something like that. It was read by Saul's mom (an intruiging idea, having a mom do a reading. Must consider this.), and her chirruping British accent was too cute and a perfect fit for the lightly humorous poem. The other was Shakespeare's 116th sonnet. "Love does not alter when it alteration finds." That one. It reminds me of Sense and Sensibility and it's just beautiful. I doubt that we would use it (I feel strange about copying readings or first dance songs from friends' weddings) but I did like it.
11. I liked that their favor was loose tea leaves, since they met in a tea house (or had their first date there, I'm not sure) and they got engaged in that same tea house. We're thinking of having fortune cookies since we met by going out to Chinese food with my brother, and we wanted to incorporate hummingbirds into the wedding stationary since there were hummingbirds flying around when James proposed. We'll see if that all works out! My parents are making South Jersey peach jam for favors (an idea I love because we'll be giving everyone a taste of New Jersey), and making the fortune cookies would be an added stress to that final week before the wedding... we'll see.
12. I loved that they had one of those wedding picture frames where all the guests sign the matte. I think we should do that.
Didn't like (that is to say, wouldn't do in my wedding)
1. I wouldn't have a civil ceremony. Alison's wedding made that clear. Theirs was still a lovely ceremony and it was perfect for them, but it's not what I want. I like the idea of a traditional Christian ceremony simply because it is traditional. I'd like a reading from the Bible (something easy like "love is gentle, love is kind") and a hymn or two (one hymn I want is the one from Little Women - the scene were Meg gets married). And I'd like the officiant to say a few words, not just the official business stuff but also advice and lessons and all of that. I'm not sure a civil officiant can do that - he didn't at Alison's wedding, anyway. I wouldn't want the religion to be the focus of the ceremony, but I think it provides a nice backdrop. Plus, and this is something Alison and Saul didn't have to deal with (lucky them!), I've got the religous parents to appease.
2. I wouldn't have flower girls and a ring bearer. (Alison had two flower girls and one ring bearer.) They were very cute, but it's just not for me. Plus, I don't think we know of any kids that could do the job anyway. Although the kids' table at the reception with boxes of Crayons and fun activities was pretty adorable. And there are lots of super sweet bride-and-flower-girls moments...
3. I loved that they named their tables after places like Santa Monica (our table) or the Tea Room (the sweetheart table). That's what James and I are planning on doing. However, they didn't include an explanation of why the tables are named what they are, and I would. On the sign at the center of each table, we'll include a little tidbit about why that location is important to us.
4. I wouldn't do a sweetheart table (that's where the bride and groom have a separate small table at the reception). I want to have a table for the whole wedding party. This is just how I've always imagined it. The sweetheart table is a new trend, I think, and it's a nice idea, but the wedding party table just appeals to me more.
5. I'm glad we chose to move the wedding to the evening. One of the big things I want in my reception is lots of dancing. There was very little at Alison's wedding, and that might have to do with the brunch nature of the event (people aren't as inclined to dance in the afternoon?), and it might have to do with the small dance floor or the fact that the music wasn't quite loud enough. They didn't have a DJ, and I think a DJ might have helped with the "it's time to dance!" feel. Anyway, maybe dancing wasn't all that important to them, but for some reason it is to me. But having an afternoon wedding has its advantages: you don't have to be nervous all day long, as I'm sure I will be, and you have all that time in the evening for an after party. Still, I think an evening wedding was the right choice for me, and anyway there's no changing it now!!
6. I liked that they had a first dance (Elvis, "I can't help falling in love," a song that I definitely want to include in the evening's dancing but won't feature it as our first dance). I also want to have a father-daughter dance and a mother-son dance for James and his mom. I've already chosen the song to dance with my dad - "I loved her first" by Heartland. It's country, and I don't do country, so it's a bit surprising, but the song just made me cry when I first heard it and imagined dancing to it with my dad . Look it up on Youtube. I think the father-daughter dance is one of the main reasons I want there to be dancing in the first place.That's about all I have.
Hmm... I wonder if I can sneak into a few local weddings to get more ideas??
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Wedding Date Drama, aka Miracles Do Happen
When James and I flew home to New Jersey a couple of weeks ago, one of the main objectives was to scope out Auletto's, the place where we wanted to have the wedding and reception. I found the location through theknot.com and after seeing the pictures and finding out about all of the great things they throw into the wedding package, we didn't have any desire to look elsewhere.
So our appointment at Auletto's was basically a formality, to see the place in the flesh and for my dad to sign on the dotted line. When we (my parents, James and I) were in the Auletto's office after our tour to discuss all the details, my parents (read: my mother) decided to let us have an evening wedding instead of an afternoon one, since that's what I really wanted in the first place. However, my father had reserved May 30, 2009 from 11:00am to 4pm for our wedding, and by that point the evening slot was already taken. So if we wanted to have an evening wedding, we'd have to move the date. Jim Auletto gave us a few options: May 16, June 13, or June 20. James chose May 16 and I agreed, even though I had a few reservations about setting it that early (mainly that my brother and anyone else in school or teaching might have a problem coming to the wedding).
Jim told us (this is how James and I remember it but my parents disagree) that he would hold May 16 tentatively for us, in case the person holding May 30 bailed (they hadn't paid a deposit yet). Thus James and I believed that our wedding date wasn't set yet. Later in the week, my parents set up a meeting between James and I and the man that they wanted us to have perform the wedding ceremony. I told my parents beforehand that I didn't think he would agree due to his strict religious views and the fact that James and I are not religious. Not to mince words: the man is a devout evangelical who would only agree to marry two "followers of Christ," and he basically wanted us to join his church in order for him to perform the ceremony. That's his belief, and he's certainly allowed to it, but there was no way James and I would ever qualify. Both parties were agreeable to the results of our meeting - that he would not be marrying us.
However, my parents were not happy with this. They told us it was him or no one - either we have a very deeply religious ceremony following weeks of religious premarital counciling and basically a conversion to their brand of Christianity, or we get married in a dry, five minute civil ceremony. I was devastated - while I'm not religous per se, I still wanted to be married by a minister and to have readings and music and all of that.
James and I turned to a minister I knew from Laporte, Jack Clark. He actually married my sister, so I knew my parents couldn't object to him. My sister found his phone number and I called him up and asked him if he would perform the ceremony - in New Jersey, four hours from Laporte. He agreed, which was a miracle in and of itself. If he said no, James and I would have been hosed. So hooray, we had our minister! But he told us May 16 wouldn't work for him. I told him we'd move the ceremony into June. And furiously hoped that we'd actually be able to.
This is where all the drama comes in.
We called Auletto's to see if June 13 and 20th were still available, and left a message. It was only a week since we told them May 16, but a lot can happen in a week, especially for a popular caterer on the East Coast, where everything wedding-related seems to book up at least a year in advance. Then we called my parents to keep them in the loop - they were not happy. My mom expressed doubts that it would work out, since they'd already booked a photographer for May 30 and managed to move him to May 16.
The next day, we got a call from Auletto's - both dates were open. I called my parents, and was basically berated by my father, who at first refused to move the date again. Eventually he came around and we settled on June 20, since June 13 is my brother's birthday. He then called the photographer and amazingly, he was available on June 20 too. I think it's pretty unlikely that 11 months out, we'd be able to move the wedding date by a month and still manage to get the minister, wedding site, reception site, and photographer, but we did. It was an incredibly stressful time as we were dealing with all of this, but now that we have those details nailed down, the rest should fall into place fairly easily.
So our appointment at Auletto's was basically a formality, to see the place in the flesh and for my dad to sign on the dotted line. When we (my parents, James and I) were in the Auletto's office after our tour to discuss all the details, my parents (read: my mother) decided to let us have an evening wedding instead of an afternoon one, since that's what I really wanted in the first place. However, my father had reserved May 30, 2009 from 11:00am to 4pm for our wedding, and by that point the evening slot was already taken. So if we wanted to have an evening wedding, we'd have to move the date. Jim Auletto gave us a few options: May 16, June 13, or June 20. James chose May 16 and I agreed, even though I had a few reservations about setting it that early (mainly that my brother and anyone else in school or teaching might have a problem coming to the wedding).
Jim told us (this is how James and I remember it but my parents disagree) that he would hold May 16 tentatively for us, in case the person holding May 30 bailed (they hadn't paid a deposit yet). Thus James and I believed that our wedding date wasn't set yet. Later in the week, my parents set up a meeting between James and I and the man that they wanted us to have perform the wedding ceremony. I told my parents beforehand that I didn't think he would agree due to his strict religious views and the fact that James and I are not religious. Not to mince words: the man is a devout evangelical who would only agree to marry two "followers of Christ," and he basically wanted us to join his church in order for him to perform the ceremony. That's his belief, and he's certainly allowed to it, but there was no way James and I would ever qualify. Both parties were agreeable to the results of our meeting - that he would not be marrying us.
However, my parents were not happy with this. They told us it was him or no one - either we have a very deeply religious ceremony following weeks of religious premarital counciling and basically a conversion to their brand of Christianity, or we get married in a dry, five minute civil ceremony. I was devastated - while I'm not religous per se, I still wanted to be married by a minister and to have readings and music and all of that.
James and I turned to a minister I knew from Laporte, Jack Clark. He actually married my sister, so I knew my parents couldn't object to him. My sister found his phone number and I called him up and asked him if he would perform the ceremony - in New Jersey, four hours from Laporte. He agreed, which was a miracle in and of itself. If he said no, James and I would have been hosed. So hooray, we had our minister! But he told us May 16 wouldn't work for him. I told him we'd move the ceremony into June. And furiously hoped that we'd actually be able to.
This is where all the drama comes in.
We called Auletto's to see if June 13 and 20th were still available, and left a message. It was only a week since we told them May 16, but a lot can happen in a week, especially for a popular caterer on the East Coast, where everything wedding-related seems to book up at least a year in advance. Then we called my parents to keep them in the loop - they were not happy. My mom expressed doubts that it would work out, since they'd already booked a photographer for May 30 and managed to move him to May 16.
The next day, we got a call from Auletto's - both dates were open. I called my parents, and was basically berated by my father, who at first refused to move the date again. Eventually he came around and we settled on June 20, since June 13 is my brother's birthday. He then called the photographer and amazingly, he was available on June 20 too. I think it's pretty unlikely that 11 months out, we'd be able to move the wedding date by a month and still manage to get the minister, wedding site, reception site, and photographer, but we did. It was an incredibly stressful time as we were dealing with all of this, but now that we have those details nailed down, the rest should fall into place fairly easily.
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