Wedding Date Drama, aka Miracles Do Happen

When James and I flew home to New Jersey a couple of weeks ago, one of the main objectives was to scope out Auletto's, the place where we wanted to have the wedding and reception. I found the location through theknot.com and after seeing the pictures and finding out about all of the great things they throw into the wedding package, we didn't have any desire to look elsewhere.

So our appointment at Auletto's was basically a formality, to see the place in the flesh and for my dad to sign on the dotted line. When we (my parents, James and I) were in the Auletto's office after our tour to discuss all the details, my parents (read: my mother) decided to let us have an evening wedding instead of an afternoon one, since that's what I really wanted in the first place. However, my father had reserved May 30, 2009 from 11:00am to 4pm for our wedding, and by that point the evening slot was already taken. So if we wanted to have an evening wedding, we'd have to move the date. Jim Auletto gave us a few options: May 16, June 13, or June 20. James chose May 16 and I agreed, even though I had a few reservations about setting it that early (mainly that my brother and anyone else in school or teaching might have a problem coming to the wedding).

Jim told us (this is how James and I remember it but my parents disagree) that he would hold May 16 tentatively for us, in case the person holding May 30 bailed (they hadn't paid a deposit yet). Thus James and I believed that our wedding date wasn't set yet. Later in the week, my parents set up a meeting between James and I and the man that they wanted us to have perform the wedding ceremony. I told my parents beforehand that I didn't think he would agree due to his strict religious views and the fact that James and I are not religious. Not to mince words: the man is a devout evangelical who would only agree to marry two "followers of Christ," and he basically wanted us to join his church in order for him to perform the ceremony. That's his belief, and he's certainly allowed to it, but there was no way James and I would ever qualify. Both parties were agreeable to the results of our meeting - that he would not be marrying us.

However, my parents were not happy with this. They told us it was him or no one - either we have a very deeply religious ceremony following weeks of religious premarital counciling and basically a conversion to their brand of Christianity, or we get married in a dry, five minute civil ceremony. I was devastated - while I'm not religous per se, I still wanted to be married by a minister and to have readings and music and all of that.

James and I turned to a minister I knew from Laporte, Jack Clark. He actually married my sister, so I knew my parents couldn't object to him. My sister found his phone number and I called him up and asked him if he would perform the ceremony - in New Jersey, four hours from Laporte. He agreed, which was a miracle in and of itself. If he said no, James and I would have been hosed. So hooray, we had our minister! But he told us May 16 wouldn't work for him. I told him we'd move the ceremony into June. And furiously hoped that we'd actually be able to.

This is where all the drama comes in.

We called Auletto's to see if June 13 and 20th were still available, and left a message. It was only a week since we told them May 16, but a lot can happen in a week, especially for a popular caterer on the East Coast, where everything wedding-related seems to book up at least a year in advance. Then we called my parents to keep them in the loop - they were not happy. My mom expressed doubts that it would work out, since they'd already booked a photographer for May 30 and managed to move him to May 16.

The next day, we got a call from Auletto's - both dates were open. I called my parents, and was basically berated by my father, who at first refused to move the date again. Eventually he came around and we settled on June 20, since June 13 is my brother's birthday. He then called the photographer and amazingly, he was available on June 20 too. I think it's pretty unlikely that 11 months out, we'd be able to move the wedding date by a month and still manage to get the minister, wedding site, reception site, and photographer, but we did. It was an incredibly stressful time as we were dealing with all of this, but now that we have those details nailed down, the rest should fall into place fairly easily.