Some excellent wedding developments have happened since I last posted. :D


First, James and I went down to Robbin's Brothers and bought his wedding band. We also got it engraved with "My hope is constant in thee." He chose a plain white gold band.





I posted this earlier, but just a reminder of what it looks like. :)






I've also made some decisions about the bridesmaids gowns: namely, that I'm going with tea length, damnit. It's what I like. And also, I'm not doing David's Bridal, I want them to come from After Six. Because they're so much prettier.


I've had some discussions with my lovely bridesmaids about dresses, and I narrowed down the choices to a handful of lovely strapped and strapless gowns. They all seemed agreeable to all of them, though each naturally had their favorites and their least favorites, and their tastes didn't all line up with each other.

Last weekend, James and I went to a bridal shop and I tried some of the gowns on, took pictures, and sent the pictures to my bridesmaids:





This one wasn't a favorite...





















Everyone liked this one!

























This one had mixed reviews...









A surprising number liked this one, even though I was just using it as an example for color. I actually really like it too. Anyway, that's the color that the dresses will be! Celadon! I think it's lovely.

Unfortunately, the dress that I most wanted to see wasn't in the store for me to try on. That would be this one, my favorite gown from After Six:

Oh I love that dress. It's so clean and classic and timeless and elegant. I'd really prefer to see it in person and on a real body before saying this is The One, though. Next up: shoes! I don't really put much significance in the shoes that the bridesmaids wear. I don't care if they're strappy or peep-toe or heels or ballet slippers. I think the colors should all match, though. The problem is, what color? I want the shoes to be something the girls can wear again, so dyed-to-match isn't a practical option. I'm trying to figure out what color shoes the model has on in the picture above because it looks good. Champagne or silver seem to be the best options so far.

And also, our save the date magnets arrived in the mail last night! We've got to finalize our guest list and whip our wedding webpage into shape and then send them out as soon as possible. I was so excited to see them - I think they look great!

Dress anxiety

Why does the prospect of picking bridesmaids dresses always leave my stomach in knots? I can't seem to settle on a particular gown - or even a particular designer. I know that I want them to be a light, mossy shade of green with pink accents, but I can't seem to get much beyond that. I can't even manage to settle on a length - all the etiquette people say that if the bride is wearing a long gown, then the girls need to wear long gowns too. But that doesn't seem the trend, I've seen lots of pictures of weddings where the bride is in a long (formal) gown and the bridesmaids are in shorter (informal) gowns and the universe didn't explode. And I really like tea-length, A-line dresses. But all the etiquette people say that if the maids are less formal than the bride, they'll look out of place/foolish and I'd be horrified if I did that to do that to my beautiful girls. So I've been swinging back and forth between having them all in tea-length gowns, having them all in floor-length gowns, or having them in a mix of both.

Then there's the designer issue - I got my gown at David's Bridal so it seems natural that the bridesmaids dresses should come from there too, since that would be the easiest way to coordinate them with my gown. But I'm worried about the quality/re-wearability of David's gowns - I haven't seen any of my girls in any bridesmaids dresses at all, and I'm worried with David's that I'd have a higher chance of picking something ill-fitting or needing ridiculous amounts of alterations. Also, to be honest, I'm not particularly crazy about any David's Bridal bridesmaids gowns. I'm limited due to my color choice (the only green I'd want is called peridot and there are only maybe a dozen gowns in peridot) and there's some nice gowns but I seem to have small (but ultimately probably easy-to-get-over) issues with all of them.

For instance, I like this gown:

...but it only comes in black, navy, brown, and a funky olive green.

And I like the looks of these mix-and-match gowns - each bridesmaid can get a slightly different gown (only variations on the ones pictured) so she can choose one she'll feel most comfortable in, and they can all be individuals, but they'll also look good as a group.

The add-ons are extra - the cuff at the top of the far right dress, the belts, and the peek-a-boo under skirts are all a bit more ($15 or $20). I particularly like the two gowns on the far right - they're both sweetheart necklines without the cuff (I'm not a fan of sweetheart necklines but i wouldn't be wearing it so it's okay). I think my ideal dress would be somewhere in between the two in length. The short one is a bit too short (above the knee without the under skirt) and the long one is, well, floor length and no matter how hard I try to get behind the idea of having my maids in floor-length gowns, I can't fully own the idea. There is the possibility of getting the long dress hemmed to be tea length, but that adds more cost to the gown when I'd already want the girls to at least get the extra sash in pink.

I also like this gown, but it isn't designed in such a way that it would look good with a pink accent (namely, the sash):

And I do want each gown to have both green and pink. I actually want the main wedding color to be pink, not green, but I don't want everything to be too pink-pink-pink plus I like the idea of the pink bouquets popping against the green dresses. So the idea is to have the dresses in green with some pink, and then have everything else be pink with some green.

I also like this one, which would work well with the pink sash and is more tea-length than the shorter one from above:

But I think this gown, from Alfred Angelo, is somehow much prettier:

And you can allegedly order this one in light green ("celadon") with a pink ("dusty rose") belt all ready put together - no needing to buy an extra sash. And I found it for $89. But it is tea-length, and I'm still not convinced that it's okay for me to pick a tea length gown if my gown is floor length. And also, what if my bridesmaids don't want to wear a strapless gown? My sister has expressed a dislike for strapless and for sashes, so I found this dress:

This is satin with a chiffon top layer. The dress is basically a strapless A-line, but the chiffon top layer creates see-through V-neck straps/sleeves that my sister might prefer. And since she'll be the maid of honor, it would be okay for her to wear a gown that's different from the other girls. The only problem is, this dress is from After Six, not Alfred Angelo, so who's to say that the Celadon from After Six would match the Celadon from Alfred Angelo?

- - - - - JAMES - - if you're reading this... STOP READING HERE - - - -

(tee hee!)

But I haven't seen the colors in person and I'd need to know if they're the "right" colors. Particularly the pink. It's important that the pink be the right shade since my gown features a pink sash. That's the thing about the David's gowns - it's guaranteed that the pink in those gowns will match the pink in my gown.

...Of course, I'm not too crazy about the "Pearl Pink" sash for my gown from David's - I think that shade of pink is a bit too salmony, and while it does come in a shade of straight up "Pink," there are no bridesmaids dresses or accents that come in Pink - only Pearl Pink or hot pink (and I don't want to do hot pink). So I guess one option would be to return the "pearl pink" sash if, when I see it at home at Thanksgiving, I decide that it's too salmony for me to stand and just get the pink sash -- then all bets are off. I guess the pinks don't need to match exactly, as long as they're in the same pink family?

And maybe that second-to-last gown would be on the same level of formality as my gown, even if it is tea length? Because they're both simple, elegant, A-line dresses without beading or anything ornate, I think they'd look good together.

---- JAMES -- - YOU CAN READ AGAIN :) ------

So, friends... any suggestions???

My hope is constant in thee

When James bought my engagement ring back in April/May, he also bought my wedding ring. Last week, James left work in the middle of the day , went home and picked up the ring, and took it down to Robbin's Brothers to have it engraved (I had no idea). He had them engrave it with "My hope is constant in thee," which is the family saying that's engraved in my parents' rings and my sister and brother-in-law's rings.

As far as my parents knew, the saying came from somewhere in my dad's family. It appeared in the old family home, I believe. It was called Artornish (my sister can correct me on the spelling) and I think it was some kind of mansion in Pennsylvania (back when the family was wealthy, none of that money exists anymore - at least, not in our branch of the family!) in the early 1900s. The house burned down, I think, and the family moved out to Arizona, but the saying stayed with the family. My parents didn't know anything about where the saying originated, though.

Then, when I was in Scotland, I found a book on clans and their tartans, and I looked up the McDonald clan. My dad's grandmother's (maiden?) name was Donaldson. (Wow I need to bone up on my family history!) I was just looking for what the McDonald tartan looked like so that I could buy the right one, but there were two distinct McDonald clans: McDonald and McDonald of Clanranald. I didn't know which one to choose, but then I noticed a line on the page about McDonald of Clanranald: the family saying was "My hope is constant in thee."

McDonald of Clanranald tartan, for anyone who's interested

I think it's a nice tradition in my family to have our wedding rings engraved with a saying that goes back deep into our family history.

Anyway, later that day, James casually asked me "what was that saying in your parents' wedding ring?" and I told him. I still didn't know that he had taken my ring to be engraved. (He told me later that the ring was already engraved at that point, he was just making sure! Haha.)

Later in the week, James finally told me that he had taken my ring to be engraved. I, of course, started to cry when he told me, I was so happy. On Saturday, we went to Robbin's Brothers to pick up my wedding band, and to order one for James.

Here they are!

mine!

and his! (approximately, I think his is slightly thinner)

I'm so excited!!

Finally, an Update! Wee!

There have been lots of little developments in the past couple of weeks!

1. I'm learning to write calligraphy. It's not too hard, it's just following the strokes diagrammed in the book, but it will take some practice to get the shapes right on a consistent basis. And I'll need to memorize how to form the letters, rather than looking at the book all the time. Because last night I addressed my mom's birthday card with calligraphy as practice, and it took for...ev...er. Taking 20 minutes per invitation will totes not fly. But I'm sure with some practice I won't have to keep looking at the charts! I don't think there's any way that I'll get good enough that people will think I had the envelopes professionally done, but that's okay.

2. James picked a boutonneire! I pulled a dozen or so pictures that I thought might work from theknot, printed them out, and showed them to him. This is the one he likes best:

So hydrangeas it is! We're thinking that the bridal bouquet and his boutonneire will be white with just a smattering of pink, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen will have pink flowers.

4. James and I have a website! Or will shortly, anyway. We bought the domain this morning: www.james-and-suzi.com. Some jerk bought jamesandsuzi.com three years ago as an "investment" - just by choosing random guy and girl name combinations and buying up a bunch of domain names for $2. He said he'd be willing to sell it to us for $500. Um. No. So we used hyphens, which I think makes it look nicer. Easier to read, at least. Hopefully people won't get confused and go to the wrong website! (And we're hoping that people spell my name right... even my relatives spell it "Susy" or "Suzy" or "Susie" - It's Suzi, people! Please spell it right or you'll never find our website!) (Maybe this will finally get everyone spelling it correctly???) It's going to take some time to get the website up and running, but it will be chock-full of wedding info soon enough. After the wedding, we're planning on using it for a family website, where we can have pictures and a blog and everything in one place, so all our family and friends can catch up easily.

5. James and I settled on a save-the-date magnet, which we'll be ordering tonight. I think it's really cute. Think black background, pink flowers and a picture of us being very cute! It's kind of modern but still feels romantic. I'm excited to get them and send them out to everyone. I like the idea of everyone having a picture of us on their fridges, rather than just some pretty design. Although I did like a close-up of a fresh white dahlia on a white background as a possible magnet, and that wouldn't have had our picture... but I think the one we picked is best.

6. James and I bought something off of our registry this weekend. Ha! It's a kitchenaid hand mixer. I'd been using my brother's cheapie cheapie one for all my baking, and it went caput recently. That thing was weak. Anyway, on Saturday we went to BB&B and picked up a new, amazing, powerful, sexy KitchenAid because I had to make a birthday cake for his brother for that night, and I didn't have time to make all that icing (the cake was 3 layers!) by hand. And the mixer is the best one I've ever used. Top notch.

7. I talked to my mom today about wedding things - James and I have to chose from the caterer's offerings and make a list of the entrees we'd like to serve, then submit it to my parents for approval. Then we have to email the list to the caterer and set up a tasting appointment for when we're back home at Thanksgiving. My mom already has a florist appointment for us at Thanksgiving. And we talked about my flower idea for the isle, and she's not opposed to it - it just depends on how much it would all cost, natch. Also about the caterer: we have to find out about when we can hold the rehearsal. Obviously the Friday before the wedding in the afternoon/evening would be the best, but they have Friday evening weddings there, so it depends. We'll have to find out if we can reserve some time for rehearsing, and hopefully not on Thursday.

Floral inspiration!

I was playing around on theknot.com and got hit by a couple ideas for flowers for the ceremony.

First, I don't have any pictures on my work computer of the aisle leading up to the actual ceremony site by the edge of the lake, but it's a winding brick path that goes through some trees. There are flowers and bushes planted too, scattered about. It's lovely, but it could be dressed up a bit more, to make it fit more with the wedding. And this seems to be a neat way to do it:

Now, I don't know about the bucket, but a little cluster of flowers hanging from shepard's staffs that are spread out along the aisle? That sounds lovely to me. It'd be a way to incorporate the wedding decorations into the aisle as well as ceremony site, to make the aisle and the site blend together better so it's not like you're strolling down a garden path and then - wham! - you're in the middle of a wedding. I think it would help make the whole area more festive. Thing to consider: buying extra flowers, ribbon, and containers for flowers, plus needing to rent the shepherd staffs.

Once you walk down the aisle, you enter the tent, which is the actual ceremony site. It looks like this:

I really want to emphasize flowers and outdoors and garden themes, and keep tulle to a minimum - unlike the bride in the above photo. I mean that's nice and all but it's not really me. Anyway, I found two options for this part of the aisle.

One:

Lovely. Simple. Elegant. But also: how difficult would these be to make? How expensive?

Another option, which I kind of like more:

Okay, I know what you're thinking: these are pretty hideous and look more like an autumn wedding than a June wedding. But what if the pots were painted something other than gold, say.. white? And the plant inside wasn't dead-looking grass, it was pink hydreangeas? I think that would look beautiful. After the ceremony maybe the Auletto's people could take the flowers inside and decorate the reception area with them. And during the reception we could give the flowers to people for things like knowing trivia about James and I. Or whatever. And then they could plant a part of our wedding in their yard. It'd be nice! But things to consider: the potted plants might constrict the aisle too much, and buying enough to line both sides of the aisle might be prohibitively expensive. But still. It might work.

Another problem with this idea: my idea was to have peonies be the featured flower, not hydrangeas, although I do want to include hydrangeas. In that regard, the first idea might be best because it could include all wedding flowers, not just one. And the first idea would probably make more sense with the hanging flowers from the aisle. Right? Because they're much more similar - both hanging and all - rather than one hanging and one potted. So maybe the first option, then. Sounds good! I'm glad we talked this out. :D

Dreams and crafts

I had a dream about my wedding last night. This actually isn't too unusual. It's happened before, and like before, I was generally unprepared for the wedding in my dream. In this most recent wedding dream, I was standing at the end of the aisle (the wedding was in a church as opposed to the real-life outdoor/garden setting), getting ready for the rehearsal, when I realized that I didn't have a salon lined up to do my hair the next day. I went to my favorite salon in town and all of the stylists were kids from my high school class, and I was like "Whaaaat is going on, these people can't do my hair!" And I had a general sense of I've messed up and I didn't do a good job about getting the whole wedding organized. There was more to it than that, but I've forgotten it all by now.

James and I did a little wedding planning activities this weekend - a lot less than we'd intended, but still, we're making progress. We went to a stationary store in town to see if they sold the kind of cardstock we'll need to make our own invitations. They didn't sell any card stock at all, but the owner recommended a paper company nearby that could probably meet our needs. We went there the next day, but they were closed because it was a holiday weekend. Boo. We stopped in at Office Depot on Monday for other reasons but checked out their paper supply while we were there - nada. But we also went to Michael's over the weekend and found some rubber stampers for making our own invitations. One is a hummingbird, and one says "Thank You!" which we'll use for the thank you notes, obv. We want to use the hummingbird and the peony on all our wedding stationary. The peony because that's my favorite flower and that's the flower I want to feature in the wedding, and the hummingbird because there were three hummingbirds flying around when James proposed. And we saw three hummingbirds on our anniversary! Hee! And this way we'll both have an input on the wedding stationary - I'll have the pink peony and James will have the green hummingbird.

We also bought a caligraphy kit. I want to learn how to do caligraphy so that I can address the envelopes myself. I certainly wouldn't pay someone else to do it and I don't want to just use ordinary handwriting. This might be slightly insane on my part, since I'll have to address about 150 envelopes by myself... but it'll be an interesting challenge. :D

This weekend, we'll have to visit that paper company. And we need to place an order online for the peony stamps I found - which is a surprisingly uncommon image for a stamp, because I've only found it in one place. We need to get on with save the date cards, since there will be a lot of people coming from California and they'll need the advance notice. We also need to finalize the bridal party. And I need to stop waffling on bridesmaids dresses and just pick one. And we need to finish our song list and send it to the band leader. And we need to set up cake tastings for when we're home at Thanksgiving. And florist appointments. And hairdresser appointments? Dang, lots to do!

You've got the beat

My dad really surprises me sometimes. Always known for being (to put it gently) thrifty, he's decided to spring for something really special for the wedding: a live band. I was just hoping for a DJ - all I knew was that I wanted dancing. I never imagined we'd get a band - but my dad suggested it! There was a little back and forth on this, as he first suggested some dude playing an acoustic guitar as the whole source of music for the wedding. We weren't too crazy about that idea. He also suggested a saxophone soloist, but I'm not a big fan of saxophones (too many years of listening to my dad honk on his sax, I think).

At first I wasn't sure the band thing was actually going to happen, but then my dad came to me with what seems to be the perfect fit. It's a group that played at my dad's friend's daughter's wedding. That whole family is professional or semi-professional musicians, so we can trust their judgment. And they were really pleased with the band. James and I haven't actually heard them, but... we sure it'll be good.

The group will consist of drums, electric bass, guitar (I'm assuming electric as well), and keyboard, all of whom sing lead and harmony parts, as well as a sax and a trumpet, and a female vocalist. It sounds like they have a big repertoire and we're excited at the prospect of having live music to dance to. It should be fun!!

Engagement pictures!

This weekend, three months after we got engaged, James and I finally got engagement pictures taken. My brother, who has his own small photography business on the side, did them for us. He did a great job. He has a wonderful eye and he really captured some great moments. It was for realsies awkward at first, having to pose and not knowing what to do and not knowing if what we were doing looked good. (I think Steve could have been a little bit more commanding in that regard - he did direct us a little but I think we could have used more.) It was also awk kissing so much in front of my brother - there were a lot of kissing pictures in the set. There are some real gems, though, and I thought I'd share my favorites here.

Contenders for putting with engagement announcements in local newspapers:

1. This is definitely one of my favorites from the whole set.

2. I think it's really cute that we're in a heart drawn in the sand, but our faces might be too small for printing in the paper...

3. I love this one, but I feel like my arms are in a wrestler hold or something. Maybe it doesn't look that bad?? This was one instance where I wish Steve had said "Now do it again, but this time..." But unfortunately this is the only picture of us in this pose.

4. Another great one, although there is that shadow on my face...

Other ones I love and might want to get framed:

5. I think we did much better when we didn't have to pose to look at the camera. There's so much love in this picture!

6. Can you tell I'm crazy about him?

7. Another absolute favorite. Must get this one framed.

8. Look how happy I am! I love this one too.

9. And this one!

10. I love this one, but sometimes it looks like James looks sad.

11. I love how the water looks and how we're embracing, but I don't know if it looks strange the way we're cut off at the waist.

12. Eeee so happy! I love that he seems to be whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

These are all up on Facebook, too - with more!

More notes on Alison's Wedding

. I loved that they had a string quartet playing music before the ceremony. It was so classy and elegant. I really really want a string or brass group for our wedding, but I have a feeling that won't happen.

2. I loved that she had a bouquet toss without having a garter toss. I love the idea of tossing a bouquet, but the garter toss just doesn't seem to be my style. My mom told me you can't do one without the other, but obviously, you can.

3. But she tossed her full bouquet, I'd rather toss a small bouquet that was made for the sole purpose of tossing. I would either keep my bouquet or give it to my mom.That's all for now!

[Edit: No, she didn't. The bouquet she tossed was silk - genius! The girl who caught it can keep it forever, yay!)

Notes on Alison's Wedding

(You can go back to my main entry about the wedding for more!)

Alison's wedding was a great chance to see a beautiful wedding well before James and I walk down the aisle and make mental notes about what I liked and didn't like and to get ideas for our wedding. So here goes:

Liked!

1. I loved that the wedding all took place in one spot - we stayed in the hotel where the wedding and reception took place, which made it very easy. It makes me happy that our wedding and reception will be in one location as well - although there's no hotel nearby (the closest is maybe 15 minutes away).

2. The welcome bags that Alison gave us were such a sweet idea. We could definitely do that, too. I'm hoping that the people who come from far away take the opportunity to make a vacation of it and go visit Philadelphia. We could include maps of Philly and tourist information, as well as TastyKakes to give them a bit of local flavor (Alison's bags included Moon Pies.) The only question is, who did Alison give the bags to? Everyone? Her friends? The younger crowd? Must find this out.

3. The bridesmaids' dresses were lovely, a periwinkle blue and I think they were some kind of silk. They were tea-length, A-line, quite stylish, and could easily be worn again. Makes me wonder: am I making the right decision to choose long gowns?

4. Alison's dress was gorgeous. I love love loved it.

5. The mimosa fountain was fun. I think it's a great idea to have something quirky and fun like that, because people will get a kick out of it. I think we'll be doing a chocolate fountain, which I'm psyched about.

6. I loved the after party at her parents' house. They had pizza and drinks and more wedding cake (OMG the strawberry cake was amaaaaazing!) and the best part was all the extra time everyone had to visit with each other. I wish we could do this, but the wedding will probably end at 11 and I'm not sure we'd want to go to a bar or something afterwards. A brunch the next morning might be nice, before we left for our honeymoon. I'll have to see what my parents think....

7. The wedding cake was extremely yummy, and they had a groom's cake as well. Yum yum yum. I definitely want to do the groom's cake, too. I loved that the cake didn't have figures on top and was instead decorated with the flowers of the day - hydreangeas.

8. I also loved the hydrangeas. All the bouquets were entirely hydrangeas - the bridesmaids had white/pink hydrangeas and the bride had blue. The cake was topped with blue hydrangeas, and the centerpieces were all blue hydrangeas. I love hydrangeas and the three flowers I've been wanting to use all along are peonies, roses, and hydrangeas. It was great to see how classy and romantic the flowers look in a wedding.

9. I loved that they played music from Music and Lyrics at the reception. We'll definitely have to do that.

10. I loved the readings in the wedding - there was one by Auden, I forget what it was called exactly, something like "O Tell Me the Meaning of Love" or something like that. It was read by Saul's mom (an intruiging idea, having a mom do a reading. Must consider this.), and her chirruping British accent was too cute and a perfect fit for the lightly humorous poem. The other was Shakespeare's 116th sonnet. "Love does not alter when it alteration finds." That one. It reminds me of Sense and Sensibility and it's just beautiful. I doubt that we would use it (I feel strange about copying readings or first dance songs from friends' weddings) but I did like it.

11. I liked that their favor was loose tea leaves, since they met in a tea house (or had their first date there, I'm not sure) and they got engaged in that same tea house. We're thinking of having fortune cookies since we met by going out to Chinese food with my brother, and we wanted to incorporate hummingbirds into the wedding stationary since there were hummingbirds flying around when James proposed. We'll see if that all works out! My parents are making South Jersey peach jam for favors (an idea I love because we'll be giving everyone a taste of New Jersey), and making the fortune cookies would be an added stress to that final week before the wedding... we'll see.

12. I loved that they had one of those wedding picture frames where all the guests sign the matte. I think we should do that.

Didn't like (that is to say, wouldn't do in my wedding)

1. I wouldn't have a civil ceremony. Alison's wedding made that clear. Theirs was still a lovely ceremony and it was perfect for them, but it's not what I want. I like the idea of a traditional Christian ceremony simply because it is traditional. I'd like a reading from the Bible (something easy like "love is gentle, love is kind") and a hymn or two (one hymn I want is the one from Little Women - the scene were Meg gets married). And I'd like the officiant to say a few words, not just the official business stuff but also advice and lessons and all of that. I'm not sure a civil officiant can do that - he didn't at Alison's wedding, anyway. I wouldn't want the religion to be the focus of the ceremony, but I think it provides a nice backdrop. Plus, and this is something Alison and Saul didn't have to deal with (lucky them!), I've got the religous parents to appease.

2. I wouldn't have flower girls and a ring bearer. (Alison had two flower girls and one ring bearer.) They were very cute, but it's just not for me. Plus, I don't think we know of any kids that could do the job anyway. Although the kids' table at the reception with boxes of Crayons and fun activities was pretty adorable. And there are lots of super sweet bride-and-flower-girls moments...

3. I loved that they named their tables after places like Santa Monica (our table) or the Tea Room (the sweetheart table). That's what James and I are planning on doing. However, they didn't include an explanation of why the tables are named what they are, and I would. On the sign at the center of each table, we'll include a little tidbit about why that location is important to us.

4. I wouldn't do a sweetheart table (that's where the bride and groom have a separate small table at the reception). I want to have a table for the whole wedding party. This is just how I've always imagined it. The sweetheart table is a new trend, I think, and it's a nice idea, but the wedding party table just appeals to me more.

5. I'm glad we chose to move the wedding to the evening. One of the big things I want in my reception is lots of dancing. There was very little at Alison's wedding, and that might have to do with the brunch nature of the event (people aren't as inclined to dance in the afternoon?), and it might have to do with the small dance floor or the fact that the music wasn't quite loud enough. They didn't have a DJ, and I think a DJ might have helped with the "it's time to dance!" feel. Anyway, maybe dancing wasn't all that important to them, but for some reason it is to me. But having an afternoon wedding has its advantages: you don't have to be nervous all day long, as I'm sure I will be, and you have all that time in the evening for an after party. Still, I think an evening wedding was the right choice for me, and anyway there's no changing it now!!

6. I liked that they had a first dance (Elvis, "I can't help falling in love," a song that I definitely want to include in the evening's dancing but won't feature it as our first dance). I also want to have a father-daughter dance and a mother-son dance for James and his mom. I've already chosen the song to dance with my dad - "I loved her first" by Heartland. It's country, and I don't do country, so it's a bit surprising, but the song just made me cry when I first heard it and imagined dancing to it with my dad . Look it up on Youtube. I think the father-daughter dance is one of the main reasons I want there to be dancing in the first place.That's about all I have.

Hmm... I wonder if I can sneak into a few local weddings to get more ideas??

Wedding Date Drama, aka Miracles Do Happen

When James and I flew home to New Jersey a couple of weeks ago, one of the main objectives was to scope out Auletto's, the place where we wanted to have the wedding and reception. I found the location through theknot.com and after seeing the pictures and finding out about all of the great things they throw into the wedding package, we didn't have any desire to look elsewhere.

So our appointment at Auletto's was basically a formality, to see the place in the flesh and for my dad to sign on the dotted line. When we (my parents, James and I) were in the Auletto's office after our tour to discuss all the details, my parents (read: my mother) decided to let us have an evening wedding instead of an afternoon one, since that's what I really wanted in the first place. However, my father had reserved May 30, 2009 from 11:00am to 4pm for our wedding, and by that point the evening slot was already taken. So if we wanted to have an evening wedding, we'd have to move the date. Jim Auletto gave us a few options: May 16, June 13, or June 20. James chose May 16 and I agreed, even though I had a few reservations about setting it that early (mainly that my brother and anyone else in school or teaching might have a problem coming to the wedding).

Jim told us (this is how James and I remember it but my parents disagree) that he would hold May 16 tentatively for us, in case the person holding May 30 bailed (they hadn't paid a deposit yet). Thus James and I believed that our wedding date wasn't set yet. Later in the week, my parents set up a meeting between James and I and the man that they wanted us to have perform the wedding ceremony. I told my parents beforehand that I didn't think he would agree due to his strict religious views and the fact that James and I are not religious. Not to mince words: the man is a devout evangelical who would only agree to marry two "followers of Christ," and he basically wanted us to join his church in order for him to perform the ceremony. That's his belief, and he's certainly allowed to it, but there was no way James and I would ever qualify. Both parties were agreeable to the results of our meeting - that he would not be marrying us.

However, my parents were not happy with this. They told us it was him or no one - either we have a very deeply religious ceremony following weeks of religious premarital counciling and basically a conversion to their brand of Christianity, or we get married in a dry, five minute civil ceremony. I was devastated - while I'm not religous per se, I still wanted to be married by a minister and to have readings and music and all of that.

James and I turned to a minister I knew from Laporte, Jack Clark. He actually married my sister, so I knew my parents couldn't object to him. My sister found his phone number and I called him up and asked him if he would perform the ceremony - in New Jersey, four hours from Laporte. He agreed, which was a miracle in and of itself. If he said no, James and I would have been hosed. So hooray, we had our minister! But he told us May 16 wouldn't work for him. I told him we'd move the ceremony into June. And furiously hoped that we'd actually be able to.

This is where all the drama comes in.

We called Auletto's to see if June 13 and 20th were still available, and left a message. It was only a week since we told them May 16, but a lot can happen in a week, especially for a popular caterer on the East Coast, where everything wedding-related seems to book up at least a year in advance. Then we called my parents to keep them in the loop - they were not happy. My mom expressed doubts that it would work out, since they'd already booked a photographer for May 30 and managed to move him to May 16.

The next day, we got a call from Auletto's - both dates were open. I called my parents, and was basically berated by my father, who at first refused to move the date again. Eventually he came around and we settled on June 20, since June 13 is my brother's birthday. He then called the photographer and amazingly, he was available on June 20 too. I think it's pretty unlikely that 11 months out, we'd be able to move the wedding date by a month and still manage to get the minister, wedding site, reception site, and photographer, but we did. It was an incredibly stressful time as we were dealing with all of this, but now that we have those details nailed down, the rest should fall into place fairly easily.